Solution focused approach in coaching. How to use it in your life?
'Solution-focus' is a skill for your every day conversations. Even more, it's a compass to move "forward" to where you want to be.
✍️Takeaways:
Solution focused approach in coaching is evidence-based (researched).
The key idea - moving towards what you want, instead of moving against what you don't want.
Fixing a problem is a limited possibility.
Our brain doesn’t work well with the absence of things - “not” or “don't”. “What do you want instead of the problem?”
What is solution focus and how it works?
🌟 1. Focus on the positive outcome and moving forward.
This might be a new idea to you. In solution focused conversation we approach the problem in a unique way.
We acknowledge and welcome it, but instead of analyzing and exploring further what's wrong and why it happened, we are looking at what is on the other side - what do you want for yourself instead?
What is the positive goal, change, outcome you want to create? How might you get there?
It's an unusual way of thinking, as we are wired for a long-practiced problem focused thinking. We are masters at thinking in problems. But “what you focus on grows”.
If you get stuck on thinking what you don't like, you may invite more of that. Have you noticed?
The way our brain works is such, that in your own mind you live the experience, where you put your focus on.
The imagined experience is more real then you might think.
We are moving towards what you want, instead of moving against what you don't want.
What would you want to see more of?
What would you like to see less of?
The mind simply works this way - if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant - perhaps you are picturing a pink elephant.
Thinking of “not stressing” results into a more intense feeling of stress. So, in solution focus we don't work with "NOT", instead we change it into something you "WANT".
Thinking about what you are “for” rather than what you are “against” is already moving towards hope and change. Have you ever noticed this?
Moving towards something that is motivating, helps us to be more intentional in life and it's easier to do that, than to fight problems.
It brings us to another important idea of solution focus. 👉
🌟 2. Fixing a problem is a limited possibility.
No one is living a ‘problem-free’ life.
If you live and care about anything in this life, you will have some stress and problems. Things happen to us and some problems are not in our power to fix. Such as a loss of a loved one, illness, someone's decision that you didn't wish for, you name it.
You may fix this problem, but another one might show up soon. If you're busy just fixing problems, you are simply working on a goal that is hard to satisfy.
“Fix yourself in such a way that whatever happens to you, you will be fine.” - Sadhguru
Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying you should sit there and watch what happens.
But instead, what I invite you to think about is - what you are “FOR” in life and what are important things you want to honor?
How being intentional about your choices can make a difference?
Fighting stress is exhausting, but moving towards peace and clarity is motivating and empowering.
🌟 3. A solution doesn't always fit the problem.
While focusing on fixing a problem you might be missing the best solution.
Solution does not always need to be related to the problem. Sometimes we don't even understand what is the problem exactly (it can consist of many micro stressors of now and the past as well as projected future), but we may know what we want instead, and that is where we can focus.
‘Solution focus’ introduces more positive context for your mind that steps outside of the problem thinking.
What are the possibilities outside of the problem?
It connects to your values and the most important things in your life. We explore deeper into the meaning of change and the possibilities it creates for you.
For deep change we need to answer deeper questions.
More than “solutions” we care about “preferred futures”. The detailed description of your preferred future helps to build a path towards it.
What are the details of your desired outcome? Whether it's family, relationships or career related - how would you know you live it as you hope you would?
What you would need to BE and DO in order to HAVE it?
Having a clear picture of what you hope for, how it would look and feel like will help you notice the instances of it already happening.
Sometimes we don't notice this - every day small pieces of what we want is already happening.
How do you create even small instances of the desired life?
🌟 4. Science-backed approach.
Solution-focused approach is well researched in its effectiveness. It's the approach of language and mental vision, and these are powerful tools for our brain to build new connections that will help to better regulate our emotions in the future and come to solutions faster.
It is proven to give quick results in creating a positive mood, the progress can be seen already within first sessions, and of course, it depends on your unique situation and your commitment.
🌟 5. You are learning a new skill.
A solution-focused conversation works as a catalyst.
It helps to unfold your ‘aha!’ moments (creative insight).
And what is even more great - by practicing it you develop a new skill of self-care.
~You grow your resilience by recognizing your abilities to cope in difficult situations.
~You learn to make progress in small steps - no matter how overwhelming the effort may seam, if you divide it in small enough steps, it's doable.
It’s a way to keep a steady motivation for a longer time.
~You learn to notice what works well (www) in your life, so that in stressful times you know what to do to help yourself.
~Better conversations can happen with the language of hope. If you approach another person with focus on a positive outcome, not blaming or pointing out the problems, it's a game changer.
🫶 An invitation to think and reflect.
Suppose you have a problem... how to move from problems to your preferred future? Practice ‘solution focus’ with this 10 min coaching playbook 🔼
And here is simple 5 tips you can use in conversations with people:
🌿Acknowledge the problem or concern the person is sharing with you without exploring the negative details, but instead highlighting that person's resources:
E.g. “That sounds like a lot to handle. How do you manage this?”,
“That's really tough…what do you find even just a little helpful?”
“sounds like you truly care about this… How important it is for you to make it work?”.
🌿 Focus on the “wanted” outcome, not what is “unwanted“. People have more power to move towards what they desire.
E.g. “How would you prefer things to be instead?”,
“What difference it would make for you?”,
“How this would be a good thing?”.
🌿Be realistic what is within the control of the person - but let them decide it.
E.g. “How much of this you feel is in your control?”,
“What in this situation is in your hands?”
🌿Invite to look at what already works well. When are the moments the preferred result is happening? The problem doesn't happen all the time. What happens in between?
E.g. “So there are times that are tough…and when it's even just slightly easier- what is different about those times?”,
“How do you create those better moments?”,
“If you think about the last time you managed difficult situation, how did you do it?”.
🌿At all times - honor the person's autonomy. People are capable. And if you feel someone’s awareness is not there yet, accept it - it doesn't come on request.
Thank you for reading! If you like these ideas about creating preferred futures, spread the word by sharing.
📢What’s coming next for subscribers of ‘Solution Focused Coaching for Happier Brain’:
Your willpower is not an endless resource.
A habit of worry.
What your brain does in everything you do.
Library to explore:
Coaching A to Z: The Extraordinary Use of Ordinary Words.
A very short history intro to solution focus approach:
Solution-Focused Therapy with Insoo Kim Berg and Steve de Shazer:
Uncommon Sense: Moving from a Problem-Focused to Solution-Focused Mindset | Mel Gill | TEDxVarna
Great article. I was introduced to solution-focused brief therapy and immediately fell in love with the modality. It's interesting how a small change--thinking about what to think about vs. trying not to think of what will not help us--can make such a big difference.